Callipygous Madame
Fully grown, tear stained, matryoshka. A bad daughter, but a better lover.

There is beauty left in my intemperate flesh, but my mind, you have fucked that up past any hope of repair.
Callipygous Madame
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NO BASICS: My mantra.
I’ve vocalised my ‘NO BASICS’ policy firmly enough that now I’m constantly being linked and tagged in memes and videos relative to the subject. So fuck yeah for that, I’m glad that people think of me when they see these things. I’m not a messiah when it comes to the matter, I’m not the baddest bitch (that’s Trina, duh) and no shit, I’ve had points in my life when I’ve been stuck with a basic mentality and partaken in basic activities. But FYI, I’m going to address some elements of what ‘basic’ means to me so next time some bitch ass tries to call me out on the matter, I can just link them to this post so they can sit right back down again.

 
Basic bitches are not just girls. Boys can be basic too. 
 
Number one misconception of being basic is that it only applies to females. Basic knows no gender. I know SO many basic dudes. (Worth noting here that I’ll probably write this whole rant referring to females but that’s because I am one and I’m writing from my perspective obviously). If you’re a scrub - you’re basic. If you are knowingly holding your partner or your friends back from their ability to shine - you’re basic. If you’re compromising your shit without a valid reason other than being a fuccboi, wanting to please other people or because some other douche thinks they know better than you - then you are fucking basic. Just because you have a dick does not mean you are safe from the basic disease, so write this shit down.
 
Being in a relationship does not make you basic, unless you let it.
 
So many people have it twisted and think that being in a relationship is the basis of being basic. WRONG. I know so many bad bitches who are in incredible relationships with other fellow badasses. Do the maths. Bad + Bad = Good. That shit lends to power couples, the aspirational kind that people write record breaking songs about. Jay Z + Beyonce = The anti-christ of basic culture. 
 
Now when there is shift in the equilibrium, and you start mixing things up then this is where trouble brews. Again, with the maths: bad + basic = basic. I’m sorry but more often than not, a basic will poison the bad bitch into thinking being basic is okay. No. There is nothing worth celebrating about being basic. Preaching about basic being ‘cool’ makes me genuinely feel sick inside. Stop trying to make basic happen - it’s not going to happen.
 
Being basic isn’t about cooking and cleaning and caring for your boo. It’s not about staying home on weekends and practicing sobriety. That my dear, is growing up, being responsible and making sacrifices. Being basic, is when you hate cooking, cleaning and staying home but you do these things because you *think* it’s the right thing to do by the other person. Being basic is putting your life on hold to cater to your partners whims and desires, dreams and goals. Being basic is throwing yourself so far into a relationship that you lose sight of your own whims and desires, dreams and goals. It’s about being a shadow, sitting on the fence, biting your tongue, shutting yourself out and imploding from the inside. And trust me me huntay, you WILL implode from the inside. You might not now, maybe not tomorrow but one day you will have a Kevin Spacey in American Beauty moment and it won’t be pretty. So take the denial mask off for a second, that look never suited you anyway.
 

Basic friendships need to stop.
 
Much like the relationship thing, friendships can make you basic if you let them. Maybe you’re the bad bitch with basic ass friends holding you back. If they are dragging you down, fucking with your confidence, cock blocking you from opportunities that you want to pursue because it doesn’t sit well with them, stealing your babes or trying to, or generally causing unnecessary frustrations to your state of mind and messing with your ability to shine, then set those basics free. I’ve never really understood the whole ‘Queen Bee and her minions’ model. A real bad bitch can survive on her own and doesn’t need half steppers to stroke her ego. A real bitch knows and can tell herself that shit in the mirror.
 
On the other side of this, if you are a bad bitch in basic clothing because you have some egotistical, self centred friend who won’t let you shine - then set yourself free. You’re never going to shine under her wing and you sure as hell aren’t going to shine together. Bad bitches tend to find each other and 100% they are not looking in their circle of minions for their next BFFL. If you know you can shine on your own then fucking do it. A real bad bitch will respect that shit more than you bending over backwards to be her unpaid personal assistant aka “friend”.
 
Surround yourself by aspirational people, friends that make you want to work harder and be better. Friends that are effortless, that you don’t need to explain yourself to. Friends that don’t have to sit you down to tell you what’s wrong with you and list all the things that need to change. If you’re at a point where you’re having to have a crash course in the expectations of friendship or strategising a roster of days in a week that you should be dedicating to your friendship - then it’s already done. Move on. People change and you shouldn’t have to change yourself to catch up or tone down. 
 
When it comes to new faces, take note: If I’m not bothered with someone, then I won’t bother or be bothered by them. 
 
At the end of the day, you need to look after yourself and what makes YOU happy. Fuck the rest, fuck the haters and fuck all the other shit.
 
Don’t let the basic win.
 
I’m sure I have contradicted myself a million times in my points above. There’s a little basic inside all of us, always trying its hardest to take over. Sometimes when you’re weak, it will catch you slippin’. But don’t let it. Basic is a state of mind: It’s spineless, it’s lethal and it needs to just not. Don’t be victim to it, don’t practice it.
 
Being a bad bitch isn’t about being selfish, cold and alone. It’s about being yourself wholeheartedly, working hard, knowing what you want and claiming what you deserve - which is the world (in case you never watched Scarface or listened to Nas rap). 
 
DO YOU. Unless you is basic, in which case - defs don’t do that.
 
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"I do not feel good
I’ve got the sad sads
all I want to do is
fuck you."
Charles Bukowski, from Somebody   (via universeobserver)
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"She never looked nice. She looked like art, and art wasn’t supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something."
Eleanor & Park, Rainbow Rowell (via hadaes)
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lauramcphee:

Budapest view, c1937 (Lucien Aigner)
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elephant—poop:

my heart dropped.
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